Jarryn’s Thoughts on The Simpsons

Many moons ago when Jarryn was eight we were watching The Simpsons, Homer was, as usual, doing something incredibly stupid while Bart was up to no good.

“Homer is just like my Dad,” Jarryn said.
“Well then,” I said, “If your Dad reminds you of Homer, who reminds you of you?”

Jarryn in his "Yeah ... Nothing Rhymes with Bart" shirt

Jarryn in his “Yeah … Nothing Rhymes with Bart” shirt

I was, of course, expecting that answer, and it followed that I would be compared next to Marge. Minus the blue hair, I would probably fit neatly with that comparison.
I asked the question anyway.

“So if Dad’s Homer and you are Bart, who do I remind you of?”
The answer came promptly and without any hesitation.

That threw me off guard.
Lisa? Not Marge? I couldn’t help myself; I had to ask.
“Why? Why Lisa?”

“Well Mum, because your smart and you know lots of stuff, but you’re always grumpy.”

Righto sorry I asked.

Important Facts You Should Know. Light Bulbs

I don’t change light bulbs. Admittedly I have seen other people change a light bulb or two, and I know that it’s a safe activity to partake in. However, it’s not something I do.

I’ve gone to extraordinary lengths to avoid light bulb changing and I have some pretty impressive avoidance tactics. On more than one occasion a friend has arrived to visit only to find the scene strategically set in preparation for light bulb changing. I’ve gotten by for days at a time with a lamp and a very long extension cord.

But one night a crisis befell me. My trusty lamp inconveniently stopped shedding light late at night.

I considered waking my ten-year-old son. But sleeping children should be left sleeping. I could wait until morning to obtain assistance from a neighbour … but that second option, while more polite, wouldn’t help me right then. And right then, I needed my lamp to do what it is that lamps do.

It was a dilemma of epic proportions.

I sent a text to my neighbour, two doors down, enquiring if they were still awake. When the reply came back in the affirmative, I unplugged my lamp, collected a fresh light bulb and trotted off down the road.

It should be noted at this point that I was not talking about a small bedside lamp that I could tuck under my arm. It was a large room lamp. I’m rather short in stature, and the lamp was in fact, a good 10 centimetres taller than I was. Regardless I had a light bulb problem, so I traipsed along hefting my lamp alongside me.

“I have a situation,” I explained when my neighbours answered their door. Given they were already aware of my non-light bulb changing status, and that both myself and my large lamp were on their front porch, no further explanation was necessary, other than why I had not chosen to ask one of them to come over to change the bulb. You too might well ask this question.

I’ve always been independent, mainly because my mother refused to be a helicopter parent. If I need help, I’ve always found it prudent to make things as easy as possible for people I require assistance from. Hence the carting of a large room lamp down the road in the middle of the night.

I would like to point out that, my non-light bulb changing status, has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t change light bulbs. I can change light bulbs. One time I was forced into a situation where I had to change the brake light in my car.

This accomplishment was followed by multiple phone calls as I informed those in my life that I can change light bulbs, I just choose not to.

Because I think that’s an important distinction to make.